Does it still have the meaning....???
haiz....sorry everyone that i have to start with this word....cause everything in this world just can be describe as "haiz".....
be it pessimistic or what....it just will come to anyone in their life....no matter how perfect they may think their life is.....no matter what ok.....after last sat went out with nel,larry and teng(who split with us during the evening).....i become even more jialat sia....cause after what nel said.....i believe i am somehow the same case as nel......i know how he feel.....which make me also do feel the same way......take it as i am too emo or what....or whatsoever.....
actually both of us have the same question in our heart de.....many many questions that has left to be unsolved and maybe will be forever not known the answer......i know i have be much longer than nel....but i also really don't mind if u say me useless....cause i can't get past this stage....that why i still having this kind of problem.....
the whisky and abit of larry graveyard could not drunk me yet.....not even abit....i don't know why....sometime i really wish to really drunk myself till i don't know what i am doing....the long island tea does not taste as nice as i thought when i drink it yesterday....but not drunk again.....maybe too many things in mind that why can't drunk....i have to stop drinking cause not only don't solve problem but also waste alot of my money....
i don't want act anymore.....want to be myself....zhen de wish....nobody really really understand me at all.....i really wish someone will know how i really feel even if i don't say it out....who will.....i don't think anyone ba.....cause i know when everyone saw my smiling face will really think i am really happy....that is why i know......no one really understand me.....
who knows when my eyes turn wet is because i going cry but not going to sleep...!!!
who knows when i say nothing wrong but is alot of things that is wrong....!!!
who knows when i smiling/laughing is because i don't want others know and spoil their mood...!!!
who knows when i joke mean i really wish to forget something for at least for that moment....!!!
who knows when i choose songs to play is because i wish to tell others what i really feeling at that moments to others.....!!!
who knows almost all songs play is because i really really see the lyrics is in my life.....!!!
who knows.....who knows....who knows.....i still got alot of things in me....who knows.....
i believe.....
no one..
Monday, May 14, 2007
11:04 AM