why am i so pathetic...
hmmm....now in the lab alone....didn't want to eat at all...coz really got no appetite.....i don know why...i am like keep on hurt my ownself...why am i doing that....does life really so pathetic for me...???
people living so happily...while i am hiding here writing this kind of stupid posts....why....why can't i be cruel....i have knew from the start that i am sure will be hurt,the question asked..i am sure i will get the answer that i do not wish to have....but i still asked...in the end one knows how pain is my heart....
i have been trying to be a quiet person while outside....i have never wanted to be like this and never tot i will be like this....but i know that will be my character ba....hmmm...ya,i will try to be happy and entertain everyone while i am outside...but sometimes is really that i am unhappy...i cannot really live happily....
i hope for u to be happy.....but to my selfishness...i know myself i have been keep changing myself to be the best..do u think i am stupid...???
maybe u can say that...but...i only wish for the miracle....hmmm....hating myself...hating....i have never hate myself so much before....do u know something...though i am not the first one be thought by u anymore...i can say...u are still the first whenever i wake up,sleep and also everywhere i go....
expression and eyes maybe able to bluff anyone...but the heart is a organ that will never lied to u...for that,i really still talking about u....i can sense that u hate me....i will help u too...i will hate myself with u....the hatred no longer seem the same anymore.....sometimes life end so suddenly....sometime no one know it at all what really happen before the end...but some really know....(Ishi...i still didn;t think that u make a wrong choice at all coz i know u think this is the best choice...)
lies....
lies....
lies....
and...
lies....
i don like to lie...really don wish to....but i really don wish to affect other people mood by letting them know that i am sad....anyone ask...and i have to tell them lies by saying i am fine.....
i only can say....
i really sorry....
i am still unhappy....
not coz of u but coz of not having u......
a simple road doesn't look simple anymore...
Thursday, August 30, 2007
12:51 PM