the deep cut....
hmmm....from here...want to thank my buddies...i know u all are worried about my deep cut on my left hand which need afew stitches and bandages....sorry and thank for the help.....
sorry and thank to my family for all the things and worry thingy from u all....
and of coz....
sorry and thanks to GOD.....
the deep cut in my heart show more pain than the hand...it show more pain...it make more painfulness to me than the cut....though i am unable to somehow use my left hand now...i am still able to use my right hand....my right hand gonna do the hardest job now.....i am sorry....
at least the right hand still can help my left hand...but do anyone know that my heart has no one to turn to....it suffered great cut but still have to continue to hold the heavy load....it is ver heavy...do u know that...
heart believe....
mind doubt...
watever it is....as long it is said...he will alway believe u.....
nobody will really understand someone like me anymore....coz i don too myself....anyway...i think it is not gonna to let anyone to undertand it anymore....watever that is happy for u...the heart will do it even when it don sometimes....
Monday, September 24, 2007
1:35 PM
Am i really successful....
am i really succeed....have i...???
i think i am...u know...coz i really have transform myself to show everyone that i am fine...they all tot i am alright le...didnt tot that i can change their thinking....no longer let u,my family and friends worry about me anymore....i can see they think i am alright now....
actually whether i am alright....i don wanna lie in my blog...a place where i share happiness,anger,sadness,frustration and etc....if u really ask me....i can only say...i still hoping for a miracle....
something that i don know will come true or not....but i know that in deep down my heart....it still stay the same as before....i don dare say it much more...but it still stay as much....i still hope for u....i know i shouldnt be selfish...so here i am controlling myself from doing anything....only hope for the best for u....
life isnt much interesting nor exciting for me at all....i only know that with u around...it seem colourful....other than that...it is all the same...staying in a black and white pics...with wide vast of land in front of me with nothing...totally nothing infront of me.....
i know i am not stupid now...really...even though many will still say i am...but i can say...i am really not...i know the reason...i know...
every morning...when u wake up...
who will u think of...????
every afternoon...while u eating....
who will u think of...???
every evening....while u out with friends....
who will u think of...???
every night...before u sleep....
who will u think of...???
and of coz when u feel like talking to someone...
who will u think of...???
my answer to all this....has never changed ever since......
it is alway u in the picture....
but i know i should put myself in your shoes...so have never move at all...i have told myself not to lie...not to make any promise if i cannot fulfill it...i really have done most of it...because of u...i make myself improve to be a much better person...i don know how....but i know i will never leave if ever u need me....for this...i promise u....
misses are through heart now....
misses are through feeling now....
misses are through eyes now....
misses are through body-language now...
misses are through breathing now...
misses are through stuttering sound now...
misses are no longer through words from me....the misses is no longer being said by me anymore...the misses are no longer through my mouth anymore...if u can really felt my misses....i really wish to tell u i misses u whenver i don see u...whenever i don talk to u...whenever u are not there...
do u know that....????
a wish....
that wishes to be able to....
come true.....
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
7:03 PM
is life really fragile...???
am i having a busy week...me myself also don know how to ans....but i do wish ask like what my title have wrote....
Is life really fragile...???
firstly...i will go into the 12hrs of terror....in just mere 12hrs...i cannot believe that so many things have happen...the earthquake in Indonesia...it killed so many and injured more again...the earthquake can even be felt here in Singapore...so can really imagine how bad is the earthquake there le ba....why...why must it happen....is it a form of punishment for the people...why cant it be another kind that don take their life....
secondly....the fire in hougang ave 8....the shophouses that got fire and take away 2 lives....was still in shock made now...coz i still cant believe that a place that i went so many times(as my sec sch around there) is no longer the same anymore....be it be renovated or what...it will no longer the same anymore...even more for the couple who lost their son and daughter...it is no longer the same for them too....why again...if life not taken then still ok...why 2 lives are claimed...the brother even want take out all the clothing for his sister...the kind of love his brother give......how many can do it...why both are being taken away....
i am beginning to feel that life are really unfair...maybe i am really stupid...i don understand...coz i don understand myself too...really don understand...it all about the human games...the kind that i will forever don understand...i know after the two scenes...i should even more treasure the ones around me...ya..i am doing that....but that...i know something...alway in my mind....
u are somthing that never get out....no matter how bad the world is me.....alway...i know my problem is never big enough if to compare to others...i know it...but everyone have in mind what is really important...it is all depend on how important something is to him/her...and i can say...u are still the most important....
is missing a part of me....
is dreaming a part of me....
is crying a part of me....
is mask a part of me.....
is u a part of me.....
i don wish to ans questions anymore....my heart is full of thought....the thought that will never leave me....is my life fragile....i don know...i only know fragile as in what i really had...
i am no longer
smart...
Friday, September 14, 2007
11:35 PM
the same old things...
hmmm....it been a week since i last updated...it not that i am lazy...but my life is really seem nothing to write about anymore so i become writing lesser and lesser posts now....hmm...
it is a week past...beginning to feel i am a weak person somemore now...or should say weakling ba....the misses is not about a week anymore...somemore am i just a weakling that i have been unsuccessful in the jobs application....ppl see me that so doesnt want to hire me...
have already learned how to keep emotion to myself...not wanting anyone worry anymore....will smile anytime and play with anyone...wont worry anyone esp my parents....
i am sorry....
i know last wednesday when i got dead drunk...i hide and cry was saw by u all...dui bu qi....i believe i wont let you all worry for me anymore k....i gonna to make myself hide myself even more now....really sorry....no longer want to show the sad emotions to u all...i shall hide it alway k....
i am sorry again....
hmmm...actually i also don know what to do right now....coz my mind was alway in a blank mode...walking a day,living a day....just continue to walk...coz i have no wonder where to go...where to start also....ha...maybe my life gonna be like this forever ba...(though i don believe in forever anymore...)
does living better is what others want....i wont if without u by my side anymore...i have learned...really learned....
what my heart say---
i cant live....
cant live if living is without your breathing....
i cant live....
cant live if living is without your presence...
i cant live....
cant live if living is without your heart...
i cant live....
cant live if living is without your love...
i cant live....
cant live if living is without u anymore.....
='(
people have been alway selfish...ya,i am too....coz my heart have a bonding to u that will no longer come back to me without u.....
Monday, September 10, 2007
12:21 PM
i am weakling....
hmmm...what actually am i thinking now...???
i have been asking myself this over and over again....i also wish to ask....
what blog are for...???
is blog something like online diary....how come people are still restricted of writing something personal...hmmm....maybe really...personal things are not to be shared....
i have realise something....i realise i have no right to say anyone at all....i am the most weak guy....the person who should really be humble...coz i pei bu shang anyone...
realise that if i am in your shoes....everything will be the same from me to u...why cant i be trustable....is it because of me being too naive in the past that caused me want to be more smarter....but that doesnt mean no trust towards anyone....
i am so confused....i want to trust people...but people teach me to be wary...what should i do...really confused with all the things in the world....
lies have been surrounding me also...then what should i do then.....really don know...
confusing....but know one thing....
u are still in my....
heart....
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
8:48 PM
star alone...
hmmm....today is sunday...wanted so much to go out...in the end is at around 8pm then meet xuan they all....they wanted to meet so since i have nothing else then met them....while walking on the street...i looked into the sky.....there is a star there but the moon is gone....
remember what i said in one of the prvious post that the star has left the moon...now the star return while the moon is gone...what does it represent...why..why....star,why u want to go and left the moon alone last time...now the moon is gone,leaving u alone....how do u feel....
there are thousand of maybes for the moon(and star last time) to leave....we cannot alway so confirm on one of the possibilities...there are alway maybes in their head...including me....i feel sad...for the star....why....coz i am just like the star...doesn't know how to treasure....but i still think the star...u deserved it...just like me.....
but...but....can i say something for the star....the regretful of a star make a star even more know how to treasure someone....doesn't it...maybe u can say...what the use of being regret...maybe u are true....but can it have another chance...i believe it can do even better....i really believe it....i am sure of it...
a heart that feel pain..
mean what....
a heart that cry....
mean what....
a heart that bleed....
mean what....
a heart that stop moving...
mean what....
it all mean the same thing....it mean that it wanted u heal it...coz u are the only one who can heal...with no one ever can touch it....believe it or not....i am really still talking about u....
only u....
Monday, September 03, 2007
12:07 AM
celebrated xuan birthday ytd....
hmm....ytd was the last day of MP-SIP....it was a long long time in school...was in the lab for the past 4mths and 3weeks-0830am to 0530pm- it was not an easy journey...it was also a journey for learning and look not on the surface for lecturers.....happy and sad moment....everything and everything....took a pic with everyone who came ytd in the lab....was not ready yet so never put up...though still need to go back and do project...it is still a day where everyone will be together....
after that...celebrated xuan birthday in PS in pizza hut...sorry everyone who are that...i was not the right mood at all for this few days....maybe for the rest of my life ba....but still xuan....
Happy Birthday....
Thankz Buddy.....=)
back to me again.....day was still the same as before....doesn't really make big difference....looked into the sky ytd....i can see is the moon...alone...the star went away again...for don know what reason,my heart feel a moment of sadness for the moon....coz i feel that the moon was like me....alone in the wide vast of land(while the moon is alone in the wide vast of sky)...
didn't really have a sleep today....slept at around 7plus in the morning and wake up at 10plus to 11 in the morning for certain reason....but i was not tired at all now...don know what really the reason for not being tired.....
the life....
was the same....
nothing interest me....
except u.....
i am still walking...still walking....forcing myself to walk with the earth(as i know time wait for no man...)...only thing i don know is that...
when will i fall...???
no one knows....i also don know....
a path that can see the end.....
Saturday, September 01, 2007
3:16 PM
