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a news report...

hmm....just read the newspaper....i think is yesterday paper...got the ishi(soul member) dead news.....actually got the news from my sister...but didn't really believe it....but it true....so i decide to continue to read to finish the report....



then i knew he die because of love.....there is 3 big wording written there...."tai ben le"....was what the auntie said to him...maybe alot of people might agree to her...but then i don't really agree...it not as easy as everybody think at all....u may think he is handsome,talented and et...easily can find another one that is deserve to be his....is it so easy...????

i truely don't agree coz it is not as easy as everyone think so when u are not in the situation yourself...i can feel how he is feel...i also don't know whether the decision he made is the right choice or not....but i really can feel how he is feeling....i agree with him that the most suffering things in the world is not all also don't have but is that one love and not being return.....

i also don't know my situation...just afraid i will have the same ending with him(a decision which will make my papa and mummy break the heart the most)...after read what he say....i also got thought that he made a good decision....it is just a decision that cannot be explain through mere words....it is a hard decision that need to be thought for long....though once made mean finish or continue with everything....but it is still a decision that cannot be changed just because of other people few words like "putting down","u have alot of people caring for u" and etc.....



its hard to pass....at least for me also....=(


Saturday, June 30, 2007
4:14 PM


strolling...

hmmm....a funny title hah....i don't know how to explain also...anyway...my mind is full things to say b4 i come in to blog this post but then after i come in...my mind suddenly went blank.....don't know what to write also....anyway....i want to continue and continue to think what i have been thinking and write it out bits by bits....

ok...firstly say about yesterday....i was in school halfway when i went to beach alone....maybe that is not a big deal at all so shouldn't emphasis too much on it but then can say while was walking there...the sea breeze was nice...really nice.....at this time,the song i listening suddenly put up a song that like nearly make me to tears again.....but never....i didn't.....should say its good or bad ne.....=)

b4 that...went to the sugarloaf that TP open this sem i think and bought something....share it...the taste was not bad.....worth the money i think....



anyway....i only wish to ask if a person say "ok,promise u...n etc" then is call promise ma....do those like "ok,we will go together tml or what...." not called a promise ma....do those like "ok,i will reach u as soon as i finish my things...n etc...." not called a promise also ma.....hmmm....really wonder and wish to know the answer......maybe is i too weird....treat something like what i just said is a promise which is not.....but whether or not....i am not happy....i am unhappy....i don't like people to break promise to me also.....i learn it and never break any promise given to others....why don't people think likewise.....maybe...really...like my friend said....there are too many kind of people outside....there are too many kind of people outside already...u can never expect everybody be the same as u at all.....**remember that**



i am now in the lab typing this using thomas laptop again.....didn't go with them to eat coz not only because of not hungry but also i want every eating time to be more precious...and in order to do that....i only can miss the gathering sometimes.....i never take people for grented....and also wish people don't me for granted also....i hope...i wish.....i pray.....



**do anybody really feel what i really wants when i talking to him/her without me saying out....haiz....


Friday, June 29, 2007
12:37 PM


trust..

hmm....ya..the title is a word "TRUST"....everything need trust....for example like lend money to friend is trust them will return back to you.....trust your partner will not lie to you and believe whatever they say to you.....trust the banker will not run away with all the money you put inside the bank.....and of coz alot alot more....actually alot of things in this world can leave a "trust " word....




ya....so i wrote so much on top...u may think it is rubbish....but look at another point of view...it is not at all....i don't know how explain....i only can say....u must really figure out what i trying to mean....



ok....go to the point i want to talk today.....i want say is to all my friends....no matter female or male...if u really know me....u should know that i don't mind people critise me as long is logic.....and u all should also know i don't like people fake infront of me lo....like people show true self....like mean like....don't like mean don't like(all people also want that,isn't it...???)....coz i have been backstabbed by a few people b4....so i don't like the feeling also....i can feel someone sincere-nity and faking also.........so i really wish all friends of mine....if u really see this....pls....really...pls....either tell me that i not someone you like or tell me u really not interested in becoming best friend with me.....pls tell me....i won't bear a gudge with u....coz i don't want to break the trust i have given u...


*i have already sense your irritation of me.....*


Monday, June 25, 2007
10:43 PM


LOST...

i have lost.....lost alot of friends.....i don't know why....i have asked myself...i have never done anything really bad things in my life before....but then it like the retribution i having is like never ending...first giving me the mentally pain...then the physcially pain....then all shit coming my way after i really find some shu guang.....then now....come again....

i really very sian....i have already entertain people when they sad...when they need help....make a joke when they need it....but why...i alway got into all this shit....

i know the world has never been fair....so i have never really requested alot of things....just want simple life...simple things in this world...but i am alway denied by all this....



is treating people better means that i am naive and deserved to be betrayed/backstabbed..?

is having trusted friends so hard to find...?

is forgiving people and without confronting is the best possible way to solve the solutions..?

is everyone only got a chance to everything including living...?

is it that the only few ways...???



WHY............?????????

WHY............?????????

WHY..............????????


Tuesday, June 19, 2007
4:02 PM


Mummy Is Back....

hmmm....as stated in the title....mummy is back...really missed her....glad that she is back safe and sound....thank God......hmmm....just come back from the airport....can see that she really enjoy the trip when she talk about all the things in Vietnam....things she having and having fun with....glad that she is happy for the overall trip....

today is sunday.....and tml will be back in school again....sian....don't wish go back school again...maybe really lost interest in studies le ba.....don't know who got this feeling also....anyway...i don't care also....i just wish to work hard on the project and faster finish everything so can relax abit.....



people comes and people goes....
people comes....
u don't treasure it....people goes.....
then u want regret it....wish people comes again....
but never know people will be goes forever....




hmmm.....have the feeling of a friend avoiding me....shall not say it here who the person is....maybe i really too detestable that the person doesn't want to get too close me....hmmm....maybe i should take a step back....should stop irritate the person.....but i wish to tell the person....i am kind of disappointed with your reaction.....by doing all this....i not sure of anything...not sure of the future also....but u denied me a chance to be at least your friend....

**disappointed***


Sunday, June 17, 2007
7:16 PM


my 100 posts....=>why i want do that again...<=

firstly should say this is my 100 posts....didn't expect will reach that stage.....hmmm....anyway, it just like another post only.....so it no different.....it been a year plus that i writing blog already....can't believe will go on till this long....happy,sad,excited and etc....all whatever...so many many....haiz.....though i know there sure will be sadness in everybody life....but that is still something people don't want....don't like at all.....sian....

my mummy have gone to Vietnam for about 3days le....ask me....i sure of coz say will miss her....miss her damn lots....wonder what she doing now....hope she really have great fun there....but then still abit worried coz she everytime go another country sure will call back immediately de....but why not this time..so weird.....

people comes and people gone.....i don't know why i something kept those people who doesn't show any signals.....i don't deny i like someone....but she treat me nothing more than a friend....a normal friend....am i so stupid.....so stupid until don't know how express out what i should do or what i should think....i though i should say it out....or should i just kept it to myself.....as you know....a toad(me) like a swan(her)....should understand this ba...but can't get her out of my mind....don't know she know or not....only know how i feel.....how....what am i going to do.....

is it coming again.....haiz.....


Friday, June 15, 2007
2:56 PM


Left For Vietnam....

mummy left Singapore.....she went Vietnam this afternoon.....actually hope to see her off but then coz of the major project....i didn't get to do that at all....hmmm.....yesterday have the Father's Day dinner with family and grandparents and cousins.....didn't ate much....don't know why don't really have the mood to eat at all.....but still ate alittle.....think is coz of my mummy going to go Vietnam for a week i think.....

glad that she have a break walking around to have fun.....very she bu de....miss her when she holidaying....hope everything will be a fun and great trip for her.....hmmm.....tml is PR1...the things that cause me unable to leave school to see off mummy.....not sure what will happen tml....just take it easy when it comes ba....

sian....also wish to go holiday for a week if can.....hope go another country play....don't care any country also....coz also no country in mind also.....hmmm....so sian 1/2 la....


Tuesday, June 12, 2007
7:40 PM


a sunday.....

hmmm.....it a sunday but at home whole day....coz wish to study abit for the project so didn't go out at all.....whole day was quite warm.....until now the rain is coming....

the PR1 are coming on this coming wednesday.....scared don't know what to say in the end when the teacher asked about the things he wish to ask.....then tuesday my mum going for vietnam....want to see her off but is in the afternoon....don't know whather got the time to go....anyway,really hope to go to airport.....to at least say bye to her....but the next day is the PR1 so like scared not even enough time to organise what to say....where got time for me to leave the school for like 3hrs or so.....sian 1/2......


Sunday, June 10, 2007
5:16 PM


The World Is So Boring....

ya....just like what i wrote in the title.....the world is so boring....alway so sian.....alway doing the same things all over and over again....so sick of it....really sick....nothing in my mind....nothing in my brain....nothing nothing...totally nothing at all....i feel so wish to end it all....my life....my everything...so bored of life....so sick....so SICK....

anyone knows......

no one.....

i really don't want sympathy at all.....not even a single bit i want at all.....but i feeling so exhausted.....what should i do.....???

probably i can't do anything at all ba....perhap it is not even within my control to do it as well.....feeling so lost sia....haiz.....

forget it....i also don't wish to talk anymore.....

silent maybe will be the best way to make friends feel assured....

haizzz....


Tuesday, June 05, 2007
1:53 PM


are people really cruel....

the world turn dark again.....at least for me.....it turned dark....so dark again....why...with stop drinking really solve the problems....like no at all.....

things as usual must do.....things as usual must act.....things as usual must smile....things as usual must laugh....thinga as usual must joke......never change for the better at all i should say......like the song....

Would you do all that for me....
Would you still remember everything....
Would you still think of me.....
Would you die for me.....
Would you.....Would you......

sickness in me either mentally or physically has really caused me realised quite alot of things.....people really left me....not all....but alot have left me alone there in the "wide vast of greenland".....the usual me...the one that smile and laugh throughly from heart....i think will never come back le ba.....don't know how.....but the "usual me" has really left me quite long.....maybe i also too tired to find back le ba.....


Friday, June 01, 2007
11:16 PM


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