contradicting hah...but it true for me today...just thank God that no one was hurt in the process or else all stuffs dont end so early for me today....

today, first time ever in my life, i saw a hp dropped from third storey to the hard ground, LCD crack and everything spoil....dont know whether it can be repaired, i only know i wish not to happen to me the second times again.....

remember...there is always something happened for some reasons....bad luck u feel, actually at the other side, good luck to u.....at least in this incident, i see no one was hurt...at least i was lucky.....maybe that is the best consolation for me....=)




book out yesterday again....because of some reason, i have to book out yesterday and be back to camp this sunday again....actually was thinking of not writing anything here but feel like writing so i am here.....

whole week was the same....nothing really special at all...i was thinking about the alternative....and i know what i am heading.....no regret to it for sure.....

ehh....suddenly forget what i want to say....will continue later if remember...=)




later going to book in soon...."it" still there, i believe i can see more people don't believe what i said but i know as long i didn't lie and clear to my conscience is already enough....

it time for me to total reflect on my ownself for the past months for what i have done, what i have said and how i have reacted....i gonna stop for the first time since these few years to stop learning, cause i realise if one learn too much, it is not a good thing afterall.....i believe i've had enough.....those stuffs that still havn't understand shall be put aside for the time being as it is not as urgent as what i have thought as well.....maybe it will be disappearing after a while....

i want to start a new me from tml onwards, it may not be successful, it may look the same but i know where i am heading, so i have no worry about anything.....it is really time for me to really understand how to treat myself the best......


ok lastly, i give some phases to some of u....hope u all will understand what does it really mean and treat them better....

A friend is someone who believe in me before i've had the chance to prove that i deserve the trust...
A friend is someone who love me after seeing my worst....
A friend is someone who believe the best of me even he/she ma have the reason not to....
A friend is someone who appluads me when no one else bother to compliment me....
A friend is someone who encourage me to dream the impossible dream...
A friend is someone who keeps telling me, "You can do it! You are great!"
A friend is someone who who is quick to forgive me and affirm me after i have stumbled, erred, missed the mark, and sinned....
A friend is someone who is honest enough to tell me the truth when others yield to false flattery...
A friend is someone who i can trust with my deepest secret....


not many understand....not many know...
many are diappointed....many are disappointment.....






...................................




today book out....the feeling is great...reason is just because i took an off day tml, that why i book out...haha....continue my rest, the pain did not go away, it stay the same...i think it cannot get any more worse...so have to control myself and also bear with it....

nothing really much happen these few days....just stuffs that i need to learn...and i have learnt...anyway, it past 12am...Happy Birthday, Tina....haha...



never doubt anyone who u believe....
same thing:
trust anyone who u believe....




to be honest, my pain is still there....painkillers and muscle relax pills look useless to me now....and it is getting worse since it happened....just got a mc to stay at home to really rest myself after the whole week of guard duty....with everything on including the rifle, really makes me felt unbearable....but all i can do is still endure the pain.....

i find it weird...is it really because there are too many people out that really "chao keng"....or else why i can see from different people eyes that i am one of them too....including the doctor that i have just seen too...everybody have doubts on one another, don't believe each other, there is really nothing i can really comment on it anymore....i am really in pain but all i can see is doubts....

i don't understand why people can't "push away" the doubts they have on another and start to trust a little bit more on others.....i don't see it happen only on myself, cause i really seen lots of cases on it too....i have doubts on people too, but i told myself that if from the first day, i want to trust this person, i shouldn't have any doubts on them.....maybe different people really have different thinking as what i have thought might not be your opinion.....

i'm sure there are things that everyone worried about, things that people stress about and even things that are unpleasant happened....isn't telling another person will release some burden on them, even if it can't be helped, i'm sure it does help release some burden that weigh heavily on u.....have more trust in that someone u going to tell, if u really believe in them, they can sense it and help u if really can be done.....






*who shall the someone i need, i need some answers.....
someone.....




it been few days....everything stay the same...no one changes, nothing changes and even the pain did not get away....it frustrating at times, it become like i begging for people sympathy....i don't like it, i don't like the feeling....

there is alway frustration, anger and irritation that cause people to lose their mind....all these alway control one's mind whenever they met a situation/problem....but can all these be prevented onto another...the answer is "yes"....but depend on the person whether he/she want to or not....don't you feel that u don't like this person because of certain stuffs or pressure the person been giving u for years is very tiring....maybe ignore the existence may help a little but i can only say this is a kind of avoiding the problem.....


u never know that in order to be free....u first must let youself to be free....




the week is not end yet but wanting to write this post cause of no reason.....i was at home already yesterday night....because of something happened yesterday at training, i was landed in NUH for the first time in my life....all the injections, drips needles, x-ray and all kind of testing check were done on me within the short 4hrs.....what should i say now....i don't know also cause all came to me very suddenly....i have no time to react to it, just thank goodness that i need not have to stay in there....

though it is different, but i believe life still goes on....pain is part and parcel of life, isn't it....this lesson tells me that who really care and concern me more when they knew of it....i don't want to list it out, as long i know, it is good enough already....

there are times i felt that people alway take for granted for alot of stuffs....people will say "who knows..."...ya, what you say may be right, who knows about it....but don't u know if the stuffs is being repeated, your "who knows" will become "obviously everyone will know", and of course that includes me....the kind of response was not really wat i expected, maybe i have to get used to it or view it in another way to really accept it, though its hard, but i believe can be done...

human imperfection was not cause by one or two things, they were cause by centuries of selfishness, no sense of appreciation and alot of evil stuffs done to harm another...no one can change the fact, i believe u too cannot....we only compromise and still compromise the stuffs...i don't understand....really don't understand....





tired,
i'm tired of these......




i still remember that last time i said in the post that i would post some of my sister wedding pics online here to let everyone take a look right....i hasn't forget yet, it is just that been quite busy, no time to really go and take the pics....now i shall show u all some of the pics, there are too many pics, so won't be showing all of it, just some of the whole lots about what really happened the whole of that day:

tat wee,kobe

~aspharr~
:charlotte:
~duncan~
~dansen~
~dickson~
:jasmine:
:jiaqun:
:jieying:
:josephine:
:kelda:
:kelly:
~kelvin~
~ken~
~larry~
:liping:
:may:
~shaolin~
:sherilyn:
xuejun:
:yingying:
~yihui~
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