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Stuck

Its been a week since my break started, just as expected, nothing really make me so excited till i can write a whole long paragraph of stuffs like before. I can only say whats been done only.

Movies are up, none been watched by me coz i got no company to watch the movie at all or should be i don't have anyone feel like watching the movie i fancy so never mind, i'm alright with it. Went orchard at Christmas eve to have the Christmas atmosphere there, maybe i should say "they" are crazy playing(spraying) around but i can see the christmas joy in everyone face. There are people who like this kinda of fun, there are people who are not. I don't mind to play if i have a bigger group next time and willing to play. We are young, but no longer soon, we can play now, but no longer soon, why is there still so many restriction?

Because of the principle or because of the "face". Whatever it is, it is all over, i'm in search of people who really dare to do, not something big but something that is so simple. There are always stuffs that we got angry, maybe only simple things we normally do, people got angry, then we don't do, is this out of concern or just plain jealousy? I don't know what to say, i don't how to comment coz if one have no confidence in himself/herself, everything the partner do will be under the restriction. Hence, i'm not sure whether he/she will be happy about it.

In this world, everyone is play-acting. Why do i say that? It is because everyone(in certain extent) will act to be more gentle, civilised and etc infront of others while he/she will not do it in the "dark". Maybe u may not agree with me, i don't deny u too coz it became a routine, a very normal routine for everyone in this world to do it, so u don't feel that it is of any big deal anymore.

People get weird feeling for different kinds of reason, me, myself got a weird feeling now as in I had a lot of questions for alot of different people. I want to know the answers for all this questions but i never get their answers at all. If you are kind enough, bad answers is still an answers, can you give it to me. I don't need to have an answers that only i'm satisfied, i need a truthful answers. But i didn't get it at all.

And for the first time here, i write: "I hate people who don't reply my messages."
This is very rude- that all i can say to u.

I can see who doesn't want to and who want to, maybe outsiders do see alot. The attitude do not changed after so long, it show one did not grow up at all after one has went through so much, thats kind of disappointing. I don't believe people saying "that's just me", i guess after something happen, more or less, one will change, but i've seen so many with a "NO". Disppointing for u.


Sunday, December 27, 2009
12:38 PM


Long Breaks...

The much-awaited long break is here for me now, i've got about 2 weeks to spend outside the camp, which is about a year plus since i have this kinda of life. At first, i was kinda excited and planned lots of different things to do but in fact, the long break is not the kind that i've expected.

Maybe its been too long since i have this kinda of life, everything outside changed, no longer the kind that everyone is free after a morning lesson or simply not working at all during holidays. Suddenly, i realised that we are all ADULTS now.

We can no longer go back to the carefree life we had, laughter that is never-ending, stress-free from the money problems. We no longer depend on our parents, thus, it time for them to depend on us.

I guess by the time I'm out of the army life, greater reponsibilities will be lay on me, which mean the kind of life before i'm enlisted will be forever gone and not be back except the memories. I remember when i graduate last year, i did wrote about the times i had in poly, that is also the time that make me realise alot of stuffs and make alot of friends. I came from boys school, 11 years of boys school mean i didn't get to have lots of opposite sex friends, it is the time when i entered poly life that changed my life. Usual shy form infront of them, as i don't have the courage to talk to them, I don't deny I have never regretted to be in poly, not because of the opposite sex but because of their different angles of view that teaches me too much things. I guess they do make a big difference in my entire life with different kind of memories still stuck with me.

I guess the place that really make me into more independent should be the National Service. Life in army do have its ups and downs, i guess that is known to lots of guys, else there will not be so many elders saying NS is a training for boy to become a man. I've seen so many different people in different camps that i'm in, from so helpful guy with totally no anger at all to very selfish guy with very bad temper. I guess they all do a bit part in my life to become more independent, so they should all be thank upon.

I don't know i've changed into a guy who is more better or worse than before i'm enlisted, i only know that this path have really gave me a huge impact in my life even before i ORD. I've just read one of my campmates blog before i wrote this, he said the person he is before he enlist is the real person he should be in future. For me, i guess i need to be different from him coz the army do shape me into a guy who is not allow to be so simple to certain stuffs and people, i do not wish to be the kind of immature guy anymore.

Thanks my Friends....


Sunday, December 20, 2009
11:06 PM


Hope for the Best..

Yes, this is the post that is long-awaited. Nothing change, nothing really need to change at all except the fact the i can finally write something back here after so many of them is gone. Ya, what i mean is those who read my blog in the past, I think i can start everything here again.

Many things happened for the past few months, happy and of course unhappy moments that we need to cope in our life. Everything comes and teach us a lesson to be even more smarter the next time round when we met with the same problems again, isn't it?

Whatever said, and done, it is still up to the certain someone to do the thinking. So what kind of person do i have changed into from the previous post?

Not really much but then the person facing the computer now is someone who do actually know what he really wants, so no matter whether it is a success or failure in things he do, he no longer got to feel unhappy or happy about, coz whether it is or not, the earth is still turning, at the times you are happy, there are still many who are feeling unhappy at that moment, so it is vice versa to the unhappy part. Learn to be more gracious but more straightforward towards certain stuffs.

Speak the ugly truth is always better than a naked lie. It is not hurting anymore for me but just a disappointment in general for everyone who is concern. Never ask stuffs that people don't wish to say, when its time, the stuffs will be said out.


Saturday, December 05, 2009
1:19 PM


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