"Packet" full of burdens..
After today, I left with exactly 15 days to my pinky. Even though i have not returned to camp for a while already. But, I'm neither happy nor sad at all, not to say excited. Instead, I'm more bond to headaches nowadays. I was trying to solve these few problems myself, thinking i can be find the answers myself but...like those drama on tv, things always goes against your way.
Met up with one of my buddy, talked to him about it, he enlightened me with his thinking. I guess i do have too many stuffs in my mind that cause all the stress level to max out. I guess i've been worrying about too many things in life after the ns.
Stuffs like:
- can't get a job that I really want
- can't get the salary that i do desire
- can't pay back all the debts that i owed
- don't have the money to study next year
- family stuffs
and etc...
There are too many things in my mind that's been causing me to lose my sleep for days. I've realised another important stuffs, I've lost the kind of enjoyment I would like to have or been having before I've entered the army. People say, army do change people's mind- yes, they're right, but I'm in quite a lousy state now. I'm trying to revive my life, I guess I need more talks with friends to sort out more stuffs.
ORD doesn't really mean it's the best in one's life, I guess it is just another chapter being opened for a closing one. Stress tend to pile up especially on me, I'm just disappointed that there are people who i hoped can help did not even speak a single word of encouragement.
But, of course, I know everyone got their own problems. So I'm waiting. This time, I do want to know what is the definition of "soulmates", "buddies", "best friends" and "friends" in all of them.
Thank you.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
10:48 PM
Less than a month to Civilian~~
Yes, it is officially less than a month to my civilian life again, with my long-awaited pink IC on his way to my place. The CCC course is going to finish soon, it is like "oh finally". And ya, today is my last working day, it is again like "oh finally". I'm only going back for some stupid clearance to be signed by some stubborn people who hold on to their principle or whatever it is and not sign for me earlier. How inflexible they can be? or should say, How inflexible they become after they entered this place? It is so inflexible till we can't even say out their organisation just to protect them, haha, whatever.
I don't want to care either, life isn't too bad at times for me recently. Hope that whatever have been arranged won't be cancelled at the very last minutes.
Let's see what happen then...
Thursday, August 19, 2010
10:46 PM
Unsettled~~
The day is coming, my journey is going to end soon, going to start my new chapter of life, going to leave this stupid place with so many biased people- I should be feeling happy- but...I felt UNSETTLED.
My heart do felt kind of "heavy" when I thought of leaving the place where I've stayed for the past 1 and 1/2 years of my life. What's happening?
damn it.
how long will the feeling stay with me?
=(
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
3:59 PM
Happy Birthday, Singapore...
Firstly, i would to say...
Happy Birthday, Singapore...=)
Hope all my friends who will be there tonight will have their best performance of all they have done and show the whole world that they are the best, Jia You.
It's been awhile since the last post again. Surprisingly, I met with alot of sadness and obstacles as compared to the previous post, but in turn, i've realised many stuffs. I've really got to grown up in term of thinking, I just wouldn't understand why is it so hard to grow up? I don't understand alot of stuffs, so i guess the best way is to keep on learning from others, no matter who he/she is.
A very BIG thank YOU to all my friends who still remember my birthday this year(or maybe is because of facebook alert). YOU all are GREATLY APPRECIATED by me. THANK YOU AGAIN.
I want to take back whatever i have said in the last post, i will remember the great things that they have done for me. I know they just want my sister to have a good life, so to believe is better than don't believe and things happen. I'm sorry for all that being said and i will "eat" back all that i've said. I Love Them all.
Recently or rather these few months, many stuffs happened to friends around me, I do wish to help at times but there is nothing I can do to really help. I just hope to say that if things is gonna happen this way, I hope all parties will be happy with the decision made and not regret in the future.
May GOD bless all of us...=)
Monday, August 09, 2010
12:55 AM