Messy Life..
Recently has been a mess for me, for what i mean is the mentality of mine. They seem to be at a lost of what to do whenever there is something troubled comes. For the last few weeks, i've been travelling from and to the hospital, my grandma is in a critical condition, and thats what worried me the most for the past few weeks, seeing her,my mum,aunt and etc cried everytime i visit her, it made everything feel worse. I tried hard to contain everything to myself and be the person who be the most brave consoling everyone, but, i'm human too, i do have feeling and emotion, i feel sad of course, thats the first mask that i had to wear on weekend.
Outside with friends, the mask to be wore is much worse coz if it not "wore" properly, everything would turn ugly. The ugly i'm referring to is not the simple kind but the complicated kind.
In front of her, the kind of wanting to say love tainted. The kind of determination u showing to "push" me away, the kind of attitude u showing to ignore me and the kind of acting ignorance show you are no longer the kind that you used to be. Being reject, is hard to take but an answer show how much you respect the love that the other party give you. To delay, make a person thought too much and fall "deeper" in the "hole". To think that it is not you that i like, it makes me feel that i'm becoming a failure as to express the kind of feeling to you.
Not contacting doesn't mean given up. Speak lesser and lesser when i meet you doesn't mean we got nothing to talk about but is doesn't know how to start as there are too much to say. When you say yes to a meet, do you realise how big the disappointment is when you cancel it at the very last minute?
Can i believe in everyting/everyone or trust anyone again?
Sunday, March 14, 2010
12:21 PM
