what am i thinking?
Been thinking of all kinds of stuffs these few days, mostly are stuffs that make me feel worse. You might think that I'm stupid enough to know that but not stopping it. There are too many things that you hope to stop, you can't, even if you think there is nothing in this world is impossible. Unable to stop the source from flowing in, having flu, sore throat and cough these few days make me even worse. I can't sleep at night at all, I can't find any source of happiness at all, the worse part is to find out the real problems between me and those people and I have to go to work tml.
I'm wondering if it was me in rhe past, I would have gotten a MC tml to rest but I didn't. I do hope tml I will be in a better state, either physically or mentally. Whatever I need is actually very simple, but I can't find it. I'm tired.
How many "I'm tired" can a person say in his life? I do really wonder.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
11:02 PM
what kind of love do I need?
My mind is always of stuffs- stuffs that I don't even know how to get rid of it. Me-being the master of myself- don't even know how to get happy, what a joke I have become. Days passed just that, weeks gone without me aware, months left me alone and even years do not bring me along. What kind of love do I need now?
I do not know the answer, I've been seeking for it, to at least let me aware what kind is it, in the end, I've tried and tried and tried, all failed. Nothing seems to be getting me excited like I was in the past. Lost the direction of where I'm going to head. Who can help me? Who can lead me?
No one helped, no one is able to help. There were some helped but no one gained success, instead, it got even worse for me. In short, I'm NOT happy at all.
I missed the times.
I missed the hugs.
I missed the kisses.
I missed every single things.
I know it's time to move on and seek for the new love that I'm so late to find now. But heading anywhere seems wrong for me. I'm really sad to say, no one understand me. I'm sorry to say that I am the one who do not share it in the first place. I do not blame anyone, it is just that life becomes more and more of routine plus stagnant. Nothing more or less from it.
I'm tired.
I'm really tired.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
1:31 AM
a boring weekend
Hi guys, I'm back to blogging again!! Ya, nothing really big deal about it. Have been working hard to earn more money for future life. It's tough but I know I can continue if the motivation don't leave me. It's busy but will try to update about my whenever possible, let's hope I won't be lazy to type out whenever I'm free.
This weekend is coming to an end soon, don't deny that it is one of the most boring one for months. Maybe this is the time for me to take a good rest from all the stuffs that has happened around me. GE is over, glad that it is over as well as I have been quite busy and tired from all the GE stuffs. Made a decision that I believe will not regret for years to come on this very first vote of mine. Anyway, it is over, let's not talk about it anymore.
I have been searching for that something in my life, sometimes I don't even know what it is, the whole thing is so weird, the kind of stuffs I want always appear not to be when I have it. What actually do I need? I do not know but will keep on searching to find out the answer. I have some inspiring stuffs to share with all of you before I end this boring post, hope u will think of this whenever u are feeling very low and tired.
"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place... and I don´t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently, if you let it. You, me or nobody, is gonna hit as hard as life. But ain't about how hard you hit... It's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward... how much you can take, and keep moving forward. That´s how winning is done. Now, if you know what you worth, go out and get what you worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying: You ain´t what you wanna be because of him or her or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain´t you! You´re better than that!" (Rocky Balboa)
Sunday, May 15, 2011
1:48 AM