Happy Chinese New Year guys. Today is the second day of CNY and end of my long holidays, back to work tml just make my day sucks today. But anyway, still hope everyone enjoyed the long holidays.
It's been a while since I blogged. Been too busy and lazy with too many stuffs in my life. Ya, it seems like I always complained about too many stuffs, ya, I'm human afterall. Too many things to blog about if I wanna say all the stuffs happened for the past few months. Lst's talk about this CNY. It was a very shagged day for me on the first day as I spent the whole of eve with her in a way to stay awake as well. Gatherings with cousins was not as fun as before, just find that I've nothing much to talk to them, maybe we all got our own directions and views, different aspects and bla bla bla. So in a way, nothing much about it, not that fun at all.
Been looking for a friend who went missing for months, am still looking for him, really have no idea where is he, hope u can call me asap if u see this, my friend.
Ok, that's it. I don't know what to write anymore, see you guys next time. Happy CNY everyone.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012 4:32 PM
back to reality
My holidays going to end soon, a almost 2 weeks holidays including the Thailand trip is ending this coming Monday, not something I fancy nor something I don't like, because working is a part and parcel of every one's life. The trip was filled with so many 'first times". It was fun and tiring especially for me, as I only slept like 2 hours everyday, freaking shagged when I'm back in sg. Anyway, this trip bring our bond closer and thank Lord for giving us this blessing as there are friends who went together but because of one's childish acts, they can't even be friends now so I'm glad we didn't break our friendship but bond are even closer.
So many things happened for the past few weeks, I don't even know where to start with. So let's talk about the situation now. I don't know what I am thinking these few days, I'm thinking of something which is not possible or should say impossible. Don't crap with me saying " nothing is impossible", the phrase do not have a strong stand at all, so don't give this kind of comment to me. Life wasn't bad, wasn't that good too. I'm always troubled by this kinda of stuffs, whatever happened seems fated but times and times again, I was bring to not trust fate. So how? I don't know what is the next step at all.
Friday, October 07, 2011 4:14 PM
a hectic saturday
It's been a great and hectic saturday yesterday. Met up with 3 different droups of friends for different actitivties, result- damn shagged now and though it's fun, I will not do it again else I will die sooner.
It all start with friday. After a stupuid day at work, supposed to meet up with friends for butter-ing but due to family gathering, I have to give a miss but, unexpectedly, it's ends early, I didn't went as I was not wearing shoes, so went to celebrate my friend birthday, we stayed till late night and I slept at 4 plus, knowing that I hve to wake up at 7 yesterday to meet up with first group of friends in chinatown for breakfast.
Only slept for 2 hours plus, the dim sum was not that bad, just that it is abit expensive. We went to orchard for a walk after that and entered H&M without queuing, nothing special, nothing worth the wait to queue, I think people in Singapore now is crazy for that. First group of friends went for movie while Imeet my second group of friends, walk around again, accompany to eat again, oh damn. But since one of them is going london to study, it worth the meet. Went to meet the third group around evening time for another birthday celebration, eat again, at city square mall before we went to shake. Powerhouse was not that good yesterday, music wasn't that good, not many people, met gay, met someone needed an ambulance to fetch him out and etc. Didn't really enjoyed the club yesterday. Stayed till 3 plus before we left and slept at 5plus this morning and got to wake up 11 plus for some stuffs. This sat was mad, it is shagged. I will not go out with 3 different groups within a day again.
Oh ya, my advice to those who club- especially girls. Not every guys want to touch u when u dance, don't give that stupid kind of look whenever u got touched, u can just fuck off from that spot, btw, u look ugly, who will want to touch u..?
Anyway, this weekend was well spent. I realised some friends are just not worth to keep or to have, so fuck off man. I'm living better now.
Sunday, September 11, 2011 4:07 PM
is outspoken good?
I guess the answer to the above title is not good. I've realised that I'm too outspoken to the bad side which make me at a disadvantage side, maybe I should be less outspoken in future to have the maximum effect. I realised that most singaporean can't take too much jokes, plus they do not like to be vocal about them not being able to take it, this make it real bad, I mean the "after-effect", I think that's sad. I don't mean sad for them, I mean sad for the future of those who are outspoken, they got to change in order to accomodate the whole world. Yes, you can just say be youself but this world is cruel, u cannot be yourself no matter what situations u are in, so let's stop lying to yourself man.
Been working for quite a while, gotten used to the working routine everyday, it seems that everyone is doing that, in order to earn a living, you have no other choices, continue to move on. Anyway, I wish to annouce something. I've put down alot of stuffs for the past weeks, I've finally realised the meaning of "not worth it". I do hope the "putting down" will not be just a "short while" feeling. I believe I can do even better but still glad that I can finally say "I can have the right to feel heppy now".
Since I've put down, I've set a few targets for myself to reach by the end of this year, I do hope I can get it. Don't ask, I will tell all of you at end of the year. Wait for my good news. Think should be all for today, will update as soon as possible, wait for my next post.
Sunday, August 21, 2011 10:45 PM
mind that do not belong to me
It's been a while, am I still lying to myself? Am I still telling myself that I've forgot everything and move on?
At times, I've got the answers to all questions that have been surronding me, but it seems to stay there after the perios of "happy". I begin to doubt myself, doubt whether I'v forgot everything. No longer believe in what I said to myslef, it seems to be fake, so fake till I can't believe I'm myslef before 2005. I don't deny that I have learnt a lot of stuffs all these few years, but I have lost even more. If there is a chance, I want to be a computer, to delete the memory between 2005-2010.
What kind of friend am I to others? It seems to be very bad when I start reflecting, people may say "change" is the best way to mend a friendship. I tend to believe that and had done that, still, there are friends who left for all kind of different reasons, be it betrayal or see gf/bf more important than friends, they still left for what they think is in their best interests. It's made me thought about the meaning of "friendship". They seems to be of no meaning anymore in my eyes.
The only thing that I'm glad about recently is the person who is sad for someone who doesn't even deserved her love for so long got her love- the person who I hope can give her what she really deserved. I'm really glad for this friend of mine, all the best girl.
I knew from the start, the guy is important, we can see what he really mean to u as compared to the previous one, am glad to hear what you have said coz the kind sweet smile u gave was the best ever I've seen for the past 3 plus years. Never want history to repeat itself, so I will stand in his point of view, leave me alone as well, I don't want to stand in between the two of u again.
How far can one go? How far he can leave the place? How long it is?
Sunday, July 31, 2011 9:45 PM
It's July, ya, July, start for the second half of year 2011. Time passed really fast this time, I can't believe it at times but it's true. The most important question is still whether you had achieved or learned something for the first half of year, thank goodness I can say YESSSSSSS.
More and more used to working life, it's seems like I can't do without work life anymore-seems crazy? Erm, not really, I guess most working adults felt that too, just that some refused to accept that, some didn't know. Never mind, it's alright, I'm just satisfied with my work now and of course my goals remain the same in my mind, I'm a step nearer.=)
Had a buffet dinner last sat with rest at Sheraton Hotel. I can say the service is excellent, the atmosphere was so-so, the foods and the price sucks, or should I say, they do not match at all. I'm sorry to say, I don't think their variety and quality of foods is great or good at all, i will not go again. But through this, I've realised something, I came to know that one's opinion or tastes for different stuffs can be very different. How different? A SEA OF DIFFERENT. If you don't understand, never mind. Not happy? Whatever.
Anyway, got to thank my friends for the buffet even though I think the foods sucks. It's the sincerity that counts, not like those "copy and paste" comments in fb. I know that is an effort as well, but I guess I don't felt it on my friends, so, leave me out of this, I don't need that.
Sunday, July 10, 2011 10:53 PM
Happy Father's Day
I should start with "Happy Father's Day to my dad", thanks for being such a lovely father for all of us and so many so many things. Happy Fathers' Day to all the father in this world as well, hope all dad in this world enjoyed today as the day going to come to an end soon.
Anyway, hasn't been a good week for my family and me. So many bad stuffs happened that it almost made everyone on the verge of breaking anytime. I know everyone got different opinions, different sets of thinking for all individual stuff we see but we do need to listen before we keep talking. Listen without speaking or the other way round will only make every things turn even more complicated. I just hope after this weekend, everything will go back to the usual way of our life.
Had spent the weekend at Hotel Michael in RWS, Sentosa. A celebration of Father's Day as well. With my aunt family joining, it makes the atmosphere even better. This is the first we stayed in a hotel in Singapore, the experiences was not that bad except that it turns out bored for me at times as sentosa only have limited stuffs to do. The hotel was huge, I guess it can easily hold up to 6-8 persons staying so I'm planning for another one with friends soon. I guess the thing that I do not like about the hotel room is the toliet with NO lock. Maybe most hotels in Singapore are like this but it is still not really that good if you do not stay in the rrom with your partner, tend to be embarrassing if another one get in without knowing there's someone inside.
Anyway, nothing much done there. Just some getaway from the city. See the pictures from my FB.
Sunday, June 19, 2011 11:01 PM
a long chillling session with long-lost friends
I should say that they are long-lost friends or rather long lost working friends that haven't met for like 2 yrs, that's very long for me, for sure. The meet with them on friday was an great one, thought it would be like don't know what to say, but I was wrong, everyone was still as chatty as before, just that they are older now, haha. It's been a long time for me to have such a great friday, wasn't too bad for me, wanna have more in future, yes- I'm greedy- haha.
I was supposed to meet my another group of friends who haven't met each other for like more than 6 months, but was held up today by other stuffs, didn't manage to catch up with them, something I'm guilty, hope they had fun.
For me, nothing much happened around me that make me feel different or rather changed me? Didn't have that kind of "reflection" mindset that I had in the past for quite a while already, it's not that I'm perfect now but I can say I've thought of too many stuffs or reflected too many stuffs that causes alot of agony on me as well, so it is still best to be myself.
Sorry to say that I've a mindset of settling down now. YES, it is the "GET MARRIED" kind of settling down. WHY? I felt that I've had what I need and know what I really want, just need to look for someone who is suitable and settle down, FUNNY RIGHT? I also think so. Let's hope that is not just because I saw others happiness that make me wanna to have it too. That would be very bad.
But anyway, life goes on until something different that will come my way.
Sunday, June 12, 2011 2:08 AM
weeks of "unfilling" weekend...
Another weekend going to end soon for me or rather everyone, it is work again tomorrow. It is another weekend that I felt something is missing. It has been like few weekends that I've been feeling like this but I can't come out with anything about that missing stuffs, what is that? Seriously, I don't know.
But of course I'm looking forward to another weekend that is the so-called "filling" for me though I don't even know what's that lacking. I wasn't unhappy nor happy at least for this moment. I realised the boring part of an outing from another person who do not wish to hurt another person's feeling just by saying out, thus sacrificing her time. The talk was good, thank you very much but still, I need to apologise for the time wasted, will try to improve the next time round.
Anyway, life are like this, whether you like it or not, you cannot just say or do anything without considering the feeling of another party, that's just life.
Don't understand? nvm, it's alright, just random thoughts.
Heard from the news that the flood around sg is quite bad, so who's going to do the job? Who is going to solve the problems this time round? Who can help all those poor shop owners?
Sunday, June 05, 2011 11:24 PM
what am i thinking?
Been thinking of all kinds of stuffs these few days, mostly are stuffs that make me feel worse. You might think that I'm stupid enough to know that but not stopping it. There are too many things that you hope to stop, you can't, even if you think there is nothing in this world is impossible. Unable to stop the source from flowing in, having flu, sore throat and cough these few days make me even worse. I can't sleep at night at all, I can't find any source of happiness at all, the worse part is to find out the real problems between me and those people and I have to go to work tml.
I'm wondering if it was me in rhe past, I would have gotten a MC tml to rest but I didn't. I do hope tml I will be in a better state, either physically or mentally. Whatever I need is actually very simple, but I can't find it. I'm tired.
How many "I'm tired" can a person say in his life? I do really wonder.
Thursday, May 19, 2011 11:02 PM
what kind of love do I need?
My mind is always of stuffs- stuffs that I don't even know how to get rid of it. Me-being the master of myself- don't even know how to get happy, what a joke I have become. Days passed just that, weeks gone without me aware, months left me alone and even years do not bring me along. What kind of love do I need now?
I do not know the answer, I've been seeking for it, to at least let me aware what kind is it, in the end, I've tried and tried and tried, all failed. Nothing seems to be getting me excited like I was in the past. Lost the direction of where I'm going to head. Who can help me? Who can lead me?
No one helped, no one is able to help. There were some helped but no one gained success, instead, it got even worse for me. In short, I'm NOT happy at all.
I missed the times. I missed the hugs. I missed the kisses. I missed every single things.
I know it's time to move on and seek for the new love that I'm so late to find now. But heading anywhere seems wrong for me. I'm really sad to say, no one understand me. I'm sorry to say that I am the one who do not share it in the first place. I do not blame anyone, it is just that life becomes more and more of routine plus stagnant. Nothing more or less from it.
I'm tired. I'm really tired.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011 1:31 AM
a boring weekend
Hi guys, I'm back to blogging again!! Ya, nothing really big deal about it. Have been working hard to earn more money for future life. It's tough but I know I can continue if the motivation don't leave me. It's busy but will try to update about my whenever possible, let's hope I won't be lazy to type out whenever I'm free.
This weekend is coming to an end soon, don't deny that it is one of the most boring one for months. Maybe this is the time for me to take a good rest from all the stuffs that has happened around me. GE is over, glad that it is over as well as I have been quite busy and tired from all the GE stuffs. Made a decision that I believe will not regret for years to come on this very first vote of mine. Anyway, it is over, let's not talk about it anymore.
I have been searching for that something in my life, sometimes I don't even know what it is, the whole thing is so weird, the kind of stuffs I want always appear not to be when I have it. What actually do I need? I do not know but will keep on searching to find out the answer. I have some inspiring stuffs to share with all of you before I end this boring post, hope u will think of this whenever u are feeling very low and tired.
"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place... and I don´t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently, if you let it. You, me or nobody, is gonna hit as hard as life. But ain't about how hard you hit... It's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward... how much you can take, and keep moving forward. That´s how winning is done. Now, if you know what you worth, go out and get what you worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying: You ain´t what you wanna be because of him or her or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain´t you! You´re better than that!" (Rocky Balboa)
Sunday, May 15, 2011 1:48 AM
How much do u love one?
I've never wrote anything to do about like/love someone else in the past, coz I think that should be something private, it can cause disturbance to the other party if u do write and she/her friends saw it. I do not wish to break this "tradition" of mine now of course, but just wanna to know whether "love" can be seen? What I mean is that if you like one, will it be obvious to others around you?
I know that this is not about I know or not, it is that very strange feeling that's been with me for the past few days. I don't know how to describe the feeling but then it was uneasy. Was talking to different friends about getting another relationship since I've been like single for the past 4 years plus. Some said was right, it's time for me to add some "colour" into my life again. But, it is always "life is easier by saying".
Anyway, got so many things in mind that I've need to settle now, do hope I can do it asap.
Monday, April 11, 2011 11:11 PM
quiter or not?
Was watching this show called "solitary" shown on ch5 every friday night. Heard from a friend that the show was shown in the past but did not get a good review/rating so they scrapped halfway through, as for why did they show again, i don't know but i think this show is really good. It test one's endurance, tolerance, determination, stamina and etc, physically and mentally. It just want to drain out the person to see whether he's/she's a quitter. I mean that's a really nice test on human beings to their limits. It made me reflected on those that i've quited easily because of whatever reasons, felt so ashamed man but luckily, i know it now.
Been spending too much recently, really need to tighten my purse strings this time round until the time when the money come rolling to me. Though i've spent quite a lot recently, ive realised that i've a more enriching life than those saving up time, maybe constant trips of town and elsewhere do make life more different. So overall, i'm still happy with the life now.
There are times when i'm so down till i don't wish to talk to anyone but i've realised if u are alone, u need to find something to do just to keep away all the stuffs that has been always bugging u. That's the only to help your own self. It's because Lord told me so. HE is the only who can give me the miracles i need.
I want add on something: though we had not been contacting each other forquite some times, i still hope to tell u that i'm still your friend no matter what. I treasured our friendship, i hope you do too after so many things had happened. Do hope u can see this and find me for a chat/ dinner or something, my friend.=)
Monday, March 28, 2011 7:05 PM
it's all about support.
It's been a disastrous week for Japan and China more than me(i thought). Only things we can do is pray for them and.. pray for them. Nothing much can we do for them except for praying, do hope the natural disaster will stop for them and give them more patience and strangth for the recovery.
For me, I'm hoping for a miracle. A miracle. I know Lord will help me if I believe in him and work hard for it. I know I the most positive energy to continue the run in my mind and body to continue so I do need my Father, my family and friends to help me in that. Really do apprecitae what have been given but I do need more support from all of them. Thank you.=)
Saturday, March 12, 2011 11:14 AM
what's over is really over..
So many regrets, so many problems, so many stuffs that a person needs to worry or settle every single day, in the end, what do we really get? More and more stuffs coming our way with energy getting lesser and lesser. No one understand, neither do I. Maybe that is what life is about, isn't it?
So many things and decisions I've made is wrong, regretted. There are no solutions to all these as well, all of them will go down with you on the day of your burial. I've said not to make anymore msitakes like these, but I guess I'm just a small living thing that is living in this earth.
It's over, really over. It is all OVER.
Monday, March 07, 2011 11:33 PM
effort+time doesn't mean results
Hi everyone, it's been a while since I've been writing here, I will really try to write whenever I'm free and make this place alive again. had been busy with so many stuffs recently, haven't been able to really rest my mind to forget about everything and just rest. I guess that will never be with me anymore.
There's a lot of stuffs that I've put in so much effort and time in it, nothing comes out, absolutely nothing. I need their help, they didn't even asked, they didn't even offered help. I don't blame them at all cause it is something that I forked out the time and effort voluntarily even I've expected the worse before I started, it is just that I didn't expect it to be so bad.
To be honest, I felt like the kind of talk I used to have with my Lord seems to be missing, the kind of directions that i used to have from HIM seems not coming my way. What should I do, Lord?
Saturday, March 05, 2011 1:41 AM
Hi everyone. CNY is coming, I guess everyone is getting even more and more busier? or you are like some brat who think you love your family or friends but is actually not? lol. This CNYhas been one of my busier for the past few years as I'm doing all the cleaning in the house evey week since the start of january. But it's alright, it's great to do it anyway.
I've realised something with my friend, all of them agreed with me that this friend of mine is not someone who we can make friend with, in fact, theiir overall comments is that "he/she is a RUBBISH". Their comments are even worse than mine, lol. Anyway, who cares anymore? lol.
I guess a smooth life ahead of me is no longer an agenda for me anymore, I feel that if life is too smooth, the life is too bored for me, I need challenges to perk me up, I need it to "brush" me up as well. So, I will take it as it comes.
Oh ya, share with everyone:
Face your happiness with your most happy mood.
Sunday, January 30, 2011 6:45 PM
Hi everyone..nice to see everyone on my first post of the new year. Anyway, Happy New Year to you before i start all my grumbling.
Life's wasn't that awesome, but wasn't that bad as well. I guess that should be the life of a normal person, because it will then make one fight to make it awesome, isn't it? Don't understand, arr.. nvm..it's alright. Been facing a few tough decisions in my life, but bravely make the right choice i guess, we will see what happen then.
I started to learn a lot from this particular workplace, get to see friend's brother(too coincidence? it's true.), get to see a bunch of whining freaks like me.lol. I guess other than those group of people who are a nuisance to us, everything was going well for me, I begin to fall in love with the place but I've to take on a new challenge for my future, do really hope the new challenge will be a even better or rather awesome place for me to be at.
So many friends/relatives going or back or still in taiwan make me miss the place so much. I promise myself that I will be there for sure this year no matter who my company is. There are so many people in this world, I've met awesome, wonderful, fantastic people and even "fantastic" in their kind. Don't get it? It's alright cause nobody going to be worried about "it" anymore, the end for my tweet, the end for my blog as well, so that's it, all the best man.
Lastly, I've got to say that I really need to thank our Lovely Lord for the help HE has given me for the past years, even forgiving me for whatever wrong stuffs I've done. Not to forget that HE has given me an awesome family and awesome friends around me. THANK YOU..=)
Friday, January 07, 2011 10:59 PM
bintan- a place not for me to be..
Went to bintan last weekend with some army mates, not only because of the yearly trip with them but also to make myself to really relax myself from all the city life we are living. I guess the place is really not the place for me to be at all. Maybe I'm a kind that hope to have some place to shop in the midst of relaxing.
Unfortunately, there is nothing for me to shop there at all. Stuffs there are really designed for tourists to go, almost all the stuffs there are triple the price of Singapore. Other than the arcade, so-called "zoukout" and beaches, there is nothing there for me to do at all. Although this is not something i like, I enjoyed myself there because of the company and the incidents happened there as well. Anyway, it's time for us to be back to city life again.
Havn't been updating my blog that often like in the past anymore, because of many things of course. One of the reasons is that twitter became part of blogging system for me,so, if I never update here, look for me at twitter. At the same time, I won't abandon this place, remember to look out for my update whenever possible.
There are too many things that are being felt, there arn't a need to say it out anymore, remember whatever done, remember not to regret your decisions, for that, I will too remember...
Wednesday, December 08, 2010 3:35 PM
Life has been busy for me the past few weeks. Been busy with so many things till I'm too tired for my personal stuffs but everything has been fulfilling for me. With all the crap people leaving out of my sight, I've never felt so relieved ever since I've finished my army. But still, got to to thank those people for their "teaching" in life, showing me what kind of person one can be when they do change. Anyway, hope for best for you,. Advice for you: keep all the egoistic attitude of yours, else you will suffer in the future. (anyway, fuck it, you won't change, you deserved the end, haha...)
Enough of the "bullshit" person. Been busy with so many things, never get any time to rest at all, thank goodness that I'm going oversea soon to relac, I guess it will be fun this time round. So that's it for today, will update more the next time. Take care anyone(including you, haha).
Saturday, November 20, 2010 2:25 PM
two is better than ONE
Life's been the same for me as usual, just watched jacelyn tay's wedding video. There's is a phrase which goes like this " Two is better than One only when Two are able to think as ONE". That's sounds so true but hard to do it, not impossible. Everyone, whether is it conscience or sub-conscience, are looking for a lifelong partner, isn't it? Whether it will come to a good end, it only depend on what's going to happen after that, isn't it?
There are so many reasons for a person to be sad, in fact, there are so many reasons for a person to be happy as well. There are so many stuffs that are done and regretted, remember it and don't do it, that's the best for most of us can do, isn't it?
But for me, there are some stuffs that I saw and I can't forget it at all. You may not mean it that way, but whatever that are wrote mean it that way. I can't understand what's been written cause I've tried to stand in your point of view and outsider as well, even thinking I'm too sensitive, but still, I think there isn't a need to write that at all.
Sunday, October 24, 2010 1:17 PM
Trip to Taiwan
It's been some time since i've ord-ed, it's time to really get serious after the above-mentioned trip. The trip was really refreshing plus nice start to my civilian life which in turn created another problem for me now, that is, i've fall in love with Taiwan just like what ping's said. This is shit la.
As for the pictures being uploaded here, i think forget it la, i've wasted 4-5hours of my time yesterday just to upload the 200 plus photos into facebook. I guess i should forget about uploading here ba. If you want to take a look, go to my facebook and see then.
The culture there is totally different from Singapore(ok, which country don't). I should say they are reallllyyyyyyyyy patient in whatever they do and plus they really know how to present themselves whenever they are go out.
There are too many too many stuffs to say about Taiwan. Nothing can describe the feeling I had for Taiwan. Meet me up and i'll tell you what really happened..=) The only thing i can say here is that, Taiwan- I'll be back soon...
Happy Birthday- Taiwan...
Happy National Day to the people of Taiwan...
Sunday, October 10, 2010 11:32 PM
The time is here. The time that all nsf looking forward is finally here for me. Waited till it pass 12am before I type out this post. Am I looking forward as well? Yes, I do. No, I don't too.
As for the reasons why, I've explained alot of times before, so I'm not going to say it again else I will bored my readers out hah. Going to get my pinky soon, going to go at a weird timing, I just don't want to see that person ever again in my life, let's hope I don't see him tomorrow.
September again. A month with so many babies and those babies are all my friends. I hate September, hahaha.
I want to write something to dedicate to all my superiors in army from BMT to SI to 4SAB:
BMT: CPT Lim Beng Yau-- Nothing to say to u, u should die instead. LTA Joseph Chua -- Nice having you as my first PC, though u are younger but u taught me alot of stuffs, thanks.. LTA Hidaya -- Greatly appreciate you as my second PC, I can say you are really my motivator, thanks.. LTA Hedges Leo -- Thanks for becoming my third PC, the encouragement you gave will never be forgotten by me, thanks..
3SG Tan Wei Shun -- Thanks my first PS, though u ord only like one month I enlist, you are respected by me, thanks... 3SG Tan Wen Hao -- Thanks my second PS, though they keep saying your are incompetent, i guess they don't understand your pressure at that time, thanks for all the encouragement you gave especially during the field camp period.. 3SG Jeremy Kng -- The kind of fun u gave during PT is great, made us don't feel tired and keep wanting more, thanks.. 3SG Suhaimi -- The bear-bear face Sergeant, remember one of them said that of you, i must say thanks to u for all that you had done in field camp as well.. 3SG Michael Yuen -- My section commander, the young man who said joining Singapore army just to experience the life in army instead of staying in Canada. Though I still think this is stupid, but for the help u gave me all the way from route to field camp digging the stupid hole, u are the person I should really thank the most, THANK YOU...
SI: As there are too many lecturer around, I cannot list or remember so many of them, so there will be only 2 persons in this category.
1WO Ng Siow San -- Cute warrant, I should say. I guess everyone agreed. Thank You. Nice knowing you and staying in your platoon for 7 weeks. Continue to remember that I'm the first person in the batch to get MC..haha.. 3SG Loy Wei Heng -- Only 2 words for this most special guy in my whole army life, that is FUCK YOU..
HQ4SAB: CPT Kervin Ng -- I think other than wayang, you are quite nice la, thank you for your advice as well.. CPT Luo Peili -- I guess you know that we know you don't like us, it's ok but I want to say that not all people who did not go outfield are useless, in fact, at times, we do even more works than them, pls treat them with respect, especially now to both my understudy.
LTA Clayton Chong -- Lucky guy with both upper and understudy so near his serving period, but thanks for the help u gave, haha... LTA Ronald Law -- Thanks for the company when we are all bored in the stupid place, going to 2012 liao, bear with it man, haha.. 2LT David Loo -- Don't chiong too much, later like what i said in the past, become paralysed..=x..thanks for all the fun as well... MSG Sze Chia How -- Though sometimes I don't agree with your decision but since you are CSM, then I cannot say anything la, but still must thank you for the stuffs your taught me. MSG Liew Sing Fong -- Scary to everyone's eyes, but we know what you are trying to do, Thank you.. 1SG Liu Ruiqiang -- U never teach me anything lei, haha..but anyway, thanks for all the talk cock session, offs and leave ah...haha...
SSG Noel Ng -- My first PC here in 4SAB, great guy, great personality, but guess at a wrong place ba, thanks for all your advice as well, you are so zai lo..haha.. 1SG Godfrey Lim -- Fear and fierce were our impression of him but actually one of the person who do really know how to work, keep it up and thanks..
Too many nsf 3SGs in this category, continue to type, I guess I won't be sleeping tonight, anyway, for those who know I talking about them, u will know that I'm thanking you frome the bottom of my heart, Thanks.
Journey ending soon, hope the next chapter of my life will be better than now. Thanks for all the teaching and advice I'd received from you all.,
Wednesday, September 15, 2010 12:05 AM
Time is ending soon..
The time for this chapter is coming to an end soon in about 6 days time for me. Nothing really for me to be excited at all. 2 years of national service- made me gain alot, lost alot too. Thought the end would be very excited, but i'm wrong in this aspect, it is not at all.
I don't fear to start another new chapter of my life but nothing seems to be opening for me at all. I got no direction at all now. I don't even know where i am heading as well. I've enough of all those negative feelings but nothing or no one is able to take it away from me. I don't feel happy at all even when i'm joking, smiling, laughing and etc. It seem like I'm moving all this alone, no one do understand what I acrually want.
I'm feeling very tired, very very tired. How i wish i will shut down everything for a few days or even re-boot all the data in my mind and restart everything afresh just like a normal computer do. I know i've got to find a way to shut from it, i will find it...
Thursday, September 09, 2010 10:42 PM
"Packet" full of burdens..
After today, I left with exactly 15 days to my pinky. Even though i have not returned to camp for a while already. But, I'm neither happy nor sad at all, not to say excited. Instead, I'm more bond to headaches nowadays. I was trying to solve these few problems myself, thinking i can be find the answers myself but...like those drama on tv, things always goes against your way.
Met up with one of my buddy, talked to him about it, he enlightened me with his thinking. I guess i do have too many stuffs in my mind that cause all the stress level to max out. I guess i've been worrying about too many things in life after the ns.
Stuffs like: - can't get a job that I really want - can't get the salary that i do desire - can't pay back all the debts that i owed - don't have the money to study next year - family stuffs
There are too many things in my mind that's been causing me to lose my sleep for days. I've realised another important stuffs, I've lost the kind of enjoyment I would like to have or been having before I've entered the army. People say, army do change people's mind- yes, they're right, but I'm in quite a lousy state now. I'm trying to revive my life, I guess I need more talks with friends to sort out more stuffs.
ORD doesn't really mean it's the best in one's life, I guess it is just another chapter being opened for a closing one. Stress tend to pile up especially on me, I'm just disappointed that there are people who i hoped can help did not even speak a single word of encouragement.
But, of course, I know everyone got their own problems. So I'm waiting. This time, I do want to know what is the definition of "soulmates", "buddies", "best friends" and "friends" in all of them.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010 10:48 PM
Less than a month to Civilian~~
Yes, it is officially less than a month to my civilian life again, with my long-awaited pink IC on his way to my place. The CCC course is going to finish soon, it is like "oh finally". And ya, today is my last working day, it is again like "oh finally". I'm only going back for some stupid clearance to be signed by some stubborn people who hold on to their principle or whatever it is and not sign for me earlier. How inflexible they can be? or should say, How inflexible they become after they entered this place? It is so inflexible till we can't even say out their organisation just to protect them, haha, whatever.
I don't want to care either, life isn't too bad at times for me recently. Hope that whatever have been arranged won't be cancelled at the very last minutes.
Let's see what happen then...
Thursday, August 19, 2010 10:46 PM
The day is coming, my journey is going to end soon, going to start my new chapter of life, going to leave this stupid place with so many biased people- I should be feeling happy- but...I felt UNSETTLED.
My heart do felt kind of "heavy" when I thought of leaving the place where I've stayed for the past 1 and 1/2 years of my life. What's happening?
damn it. how long will the feeling stay with me?
Tuesday, August 10, 2010 3:59 PM
Happy Birthday, Singapore...
Firstly, i would to say...
Happy Birthday, Singapore...=)
Hope all my friends who will be there tonight will have their best performance of all they have done and show the whole world that they are the best, Jia You.
It's been awhile since the last post again. Surprisingly, I met with alot of sadness and obstacles as compared to the previous post, but in turn, i've realised many stuffs. I've really got to grown up in term of thinking, I just wouldn't understand why is it so hard to grow up? I don't understand alot of stuffs, so i guess the best way is to keep on learning from others, no matter who he/she is.
A very BIG thank YOU to all my friends who still remember my birthday this year(or maybe is because of facebook alert). YOU all are GREATLY APPRECIATED by me. THANK YOU AGAIN.
I want to take back whatever i have said in the last post, i will remember the great things that they have done for me. I know they just want my sister to have a good life, so to believe is better than don't believe and things happen. I'm sorry for all that being said and i will "eat" back all that i've said. I Love Them all.
Recently or rather these few months, many stuffs happened to friends around me, I do wish to help at times but there is nothing I can do to really help. I just hope to say that if things is gonna happen this way, I hope all parties will be happy with the decision made and not regret in the future.
May GOD bless all of us...=)
Monday, August 09, 2010 12:55 AM
Today is my grandmother's 101 days in sleep. Was thinking of writing this post yesterday, but was too tired to write after one whole day at the cemetery. I'm thinking if one's dead is not going to stop them from talking to their loved ones, i guess we would not be so sad, especially my grandfather, he seem the one who misses my grandma the most.
In fact, I still get see some idiotic people who show totally no respect to grandma(just like the time when they were attending grandma's wake). I know how to agrue with them if i'm given a chance but because of stupid tradition's rule, i'm not allowed. The world is becoming more and more different now as compared to the past, i guess i will not even keep in contact with them at all if i do really earn big bucks in future(even if i do not). It is "ugly" to say that, but that is life.
Today, my second sister is going to get married. I was thinking yesterday why they allowed me to wake up late. I got the answer today, i shall not comment too much here, I can only say the arrangement is because of their selfishness and supersitious-thinking. It will only make even more unhappy- not sad at all. If all of you think it is alright, then i'm going to tell everyone that "getting married" in future will be no-no stuff for me anymore, at least i do not give anymore hope and then disappointment.
i can say to you all===> THANK YOU hah! i will remember that...
Saturday, July 10, 2010 8:39 AM
Days going slower/faster
Days has been untimately slower in camp as there are less friends in there which make me don't feel like returning back there at all, I don't understand why they are people who can put their years of life to the SAF by "signing on". Days passed faster when i'm outside, especially when i'm enjoying myself, but wait, "enjoying myself?". I don't think i've been enjoying at all.
Life's been quite motionless for me. I don't really have any direction to head for or any ambition or excitment about stuffs that is going to happen. What should i do? I don't know.
Really don't know.
Monday, July 05, 2010 2:03 PM
Am I Stupid?
It's been so long that i'm feeling this way, I'm talking about whether I'm a kind of person who are so stupid till people can used me? In this political world, I've wearing different masks to face different groups of people, which make me feeling so unhappy now.
"Happy" is like a distant "relative" from me, "he" is like already left me for so long without even have an idea to come back to see me at all. "He" left his "brother" unhappy to me, so it means wherever i go, "he" followed me.
I'm a human, a real human being living in this world. Do I really deserve the treatment that I'm getting now? I didn't do anything really that bad to deserve this few years of sufferings and is still continuing. I just want to lead my life back like in the past, can I?
Who do I understand me? Who is the person?
Everything seem so fake to me, even myself. I just wish that when I eventually leave the army, everything will "go". But that is like what i said before i entered the army. Everything stayed the same, instead of getting better, it got worse.
Friday, July 02, 2010 7:22 PM
a random post
A very random post by me today, simply nothing to do, mind in a blank state as well. Let's talk about what i can think of. Camp become an empty state, with bunks mostly empty or with only about 20% of the strength in each bunk. Going back to camp seem damn boring for me as batches and batches of people who i usually have fun with were already gone. Plus, ndp causing almost everyone to stay out, so in simple, the camp is too empty till i do not even have any thoughts of going back at all. The time to the of my journey as a NSF seem still far away from me, really do not know how am i going to pass the time now.
World Cup is still ongoing now, hope to watch all the matches but unable to make me even more hate the life in there. The restriction from WC shown on free is totally ridiculous, i can only ask: " If there are countries(some of those are poorer than Singapore) who can show all of them free for their citizens, why can't we?
Anyway, money never leave all of us at all. Money become somewhat a big big factor for countries especially us. I think i should better stop saying all these else will be "shoot".
Another wedding coming my way, my second sister is getting married soon. Congrats her. Hope she did not pick a wrong choice. Got to make my way down to town area soon for some shopping trips for her present.
For me, my temper had been quite bad recently, maybe because of the late nights and some other stuffs that are coming up simultaneously. I've got to control it.
Grandma are not so fortunate to see my second sis to get married, i do really hope she can feel it wherever she is now.
Monday, June 21, 2010 3:17 PM
44 days and 121 days..
It's been 44 days since she left us, the pain did not subside because of the time passed, neither did i have forgotten the days she is still alive especially on the day where she lie on the bed and decide not to wake up anymore. I will never ever forget the day that she left us, a pain that hurt me so much. 44 days are gone, how is she? No one can really answer me.
For the past 44 days, everyone around me been doing so many things, whether is it my family, relatives or friends. There are so many people lost their family member around me within these 44 days, i don't know their feeling but i know my pain, let's hope everything will be fine in months to come.
I'm left 121 days(technically) of ns life to go, with so many of my friends ORD-ed and ORD-ing, the camp becomes more and more quiet for me. The usual late-night talk, gossips and etc become even more lesser. Maybe that is the point when we are splitting into a new environment and new friends being made. Wonderful moments are turning into something call "memories", maybe when we are old, we will meet again as we will be visiting each other funeral.
Anyway, i guess i finally know that i did not really waste my 2 years of life for nothing, for at least, the value of life and towards others, i know it. Shouldn't comment so much now as i'm not going to ORD anyway, take care-all my friends.
Friday, May 14, 2010 3:31 PM
Beloved Grandma Funeral
It all started from last Thursday-010410. A day that I will never forget in my life anymore. She's gone. My Beloved Grandma gave up on her fight to the illness after all the sufferings over the years. What she left behind is a husband(my grandpa) who fight back all the tears from the day she left till the funeral end, a brave guy who still can console me, my mum and etc when he saw us crying so badly. She also left behind all the love ones.
I just booked out last Thursday when i heard of this news from my mum who is crying over the phone, at that moment, there was nothing i can say in words to describe the feeling i'm having. The cab journey there becomes a long one for me. I saw someone without breathing lying on the bed with people crowded around her, she left without saying or seeing us. I fight back the tears but couldn't at all. She is the second Grandma died on a Thursday, she's closest to me, the tears dropped for her become the most ever in my life after my baby time's. I didn't touch her when she was lying there motionless, I am speechless, till now, I still refused to believe it is true. I don't want to feel her cold hands, I really don't want...
We chose to bury her and not cremate as this is her wish. Today is her first day under the ground, I'm thinking alot of things, I'm afraid of pests biting her body, I'm afraid of her being too dark underneath, I'm afraid of her being too cold or too hot in the coffin, I'm afraid of alot more... Now, she just passed away, will she be alone? We are always there for her over the years, and now she's gone by herself, do she know her way? Grandma, sister told me that mum dream of you last night, can you come to my dream tonight? I miss u...
Another worry for me is my Grandpa, he is alone now, after 60years together with her, he is alone now. How is he going to occupy himself? I can see he is sad, but I really don't know what to say. People say: when someone died, the ones who really got the most sadness are those who are still living. I think it is really true. What to do now?
There are too many things that I do not wish to disclose here for stuffs that need to be condemn. Maybe I don't even have the rights to say them at all. Whatever it is, a guy who cry doesn't mean he is a weakling, ok.
Ah Ma, Take Care... Please Bless Ah Gong and My Mummy(Your Daughter) especially for their health and everything....
Monday, April 05, 2010 10:29 PM
Recently has been a mess for me, for what i mean is the mentality of mine. They seem to be at a lost of what to do whenever there is something troubled comes. For the last few weeks, i've been travelling from and to the hospital, my grandma is in a critical condition, and thats what worried me the most for the past few weeks, seeing her,my mum,aunt and etc cried everytime i visit her, it made everything feel worse. I tried hard to contain everything to myself and be the person who be the most brave consoling everyone, but, i'm human too, i do have feeling and emotion, i feel sad of course, thats the first mask that i had to wear on weekend.
Outside with friends, the mask to be wore is much worse coz if it not "wore" properly, everything would turn ugly. The ugly i'm referring to is not the simple kind but the complicated kind.
In front of her, the kind of wanting to say love tainted. The kind of determination u showing to "push" me away, the kind of attitude u showing to ignore me and the kind of acting ignorance show you are no longer the kind that you used to be. Being reject, is hard to take but an answer show how much you respect the love that the other party give you. To delay, make a person thought too much and fall "deeper" in the "hole". To think that it is not you that i like, it makes me feel that i'm becoming a failure as to express the kind of feeling to you.
Not contacting doesn't mean given up. Speak lesser and lesser when i meet you doesn't mean we got nothing to talk about but is doesn't know how to start as there are too much to say. When you say yes to a meet, do you realise how big the disappointment is when you cancel it at the very last minute?
Can i believe in everyting/everyone or trust anyone again?
Sunday, March 14, 2010 12:21 PM
Today is Chinese New Year and Valentine Day Eve, and tomorrow is the day that family and lover celebrate together and they coincided together. Both events will not be celebrated by me for different reasons, so i don't really feel anything at all for the festive season and season of love. But then, i don't really feel down at all coz its a long holidays.
Though i don't celebrate, i still tried to get some new clothes for the new year, in the end, i only found myself with one piece of shirt. I shall make use of the shirt then.
Camp has been normal, just a few addition of stupid rules to tie the NSF up but they don't realise something after so long, which make it so disappointing, they will only dampen the morale of them and anger them even more further. Though we can't do things much, but this make their life and ours worse too. They should really get to more groundwork and know more about us- NSF. Yesterday, went to a place where is so far from my home at the west, and yes, its west coast park. Somewhere to celebrate Chinese New Year with a run at such an early hour. Have to reach by 0715hrs in the morning, what make it worse is that the late-comers that day were informed of 3 extra weekend duties on that day. I can only feel sorry for those who are late, and i can say the run is crap, celebrating Chinese New Year there is crap, celebrating with the run is also crap and giving out such a harsh punishments to them is TOTALLY CRAP. So overall, nothing but CRAP for them.
Anyway, forget about that, its a New Year soon, hope to smile through the night and welcome the Tiger Year with a smile.
Alot of people got different thinking, recently, i found out that there is a certain someone i knew long ago is walking very closely with another GUY, he's a GUY too. So you will say, Gay only, what is the big fuss about? Nothing to fuss about, but just want to write it out, maybe some people may think they are just close friends but too many things make me do not think so anymore. That's a shock to know my friend whom i know for quite long to be that out of a sudden. Hope the Valentine Day tomorrow will be a good day for them. opps.=x
ok, talk about "you", in future, i will link u as "you". The kind of avoiding me from "you" is so obvious. In the past, i was thinking whether can we still be friends even if "you" don't like me, i told myself, it was very hard, and "you" seem alright with it. But then, i hope to be "your" friend only, but "you" shown the other way round. Though i can say i miss the rant "you" always do on me but the kind of avoiding me becomes a routine for "you". I guess we can meet up often even if we are just friends, i will not pester, i will not interfere, since "you" think that, i cannot change it and i don't want to change it as well, so take care then. Just want to ask something irreverent, did "you" went to chinatown this year, i didn't, i miss it. lol
Saturday, February 13, 2010 11:42 AM
What is really to be expected..??
Celebrated teng 23rd birthday last saturday, hope he like the arrangement we made for him even though the process was like so stressful. A disappointment is that we can't find all 23 girls to really take the photos with him. I guess some guys are too protective or conservative in term of taking photo, i shall not say so much about them anymore as no matter what i tell them will not appear in front of them at all, so that it for the topic.
Went to alot of different places these few weeks, realised that actually Singapore can be a very pretty place if u really want to go and explore, and that depend on your company as well. There are loner, there are also people who like crowds but whatever it is, the company do matter as to where u will be going. I can only say, the kind of attitude that loner don't change, he/she will not find any happiness in their life at all, they always blame on others when something happen, whether is their fault or not, don't they know that finding out the solutions to the problem is better than just blaming the fault on the other party?
I guess he/she will never understand what i'm trying to say cause he/she is just trapped in his/her world for too long. Actually, if he/she could accept the help from another, they would not be like this kind of person anymore, isn't it? Friends do have conflicts, they do quarrel and sometimes fight but it is good only when after that, both of them realised the fault that happen and reflect of course which may be a better option.
There are people who think he/she is so important that they can don't care about other people feeling. Even worse is that, refusing to admit the mistakes made and the words being said by him/her used on others appear to be he/she didn't really act upon it.
That is what i called a DISAPPOINTMENT.
I guess this is the time that i felt so disappointed with someone till i no longer have any energy to continue the things i want anymore. Nothing to be happy or unhappy about at all, for at least, whatever been said and done is a totally rubbish from him/her. I won't ask for anyone to agree with me or what, cause different people got different opinions on every different things, maybe all these things prove that i have at least gained something and lost someone.
Monday, January 11, 2010 7:02 PM
Happy New Year~~
It's 2010, it's a new year, therefore, Happy New Year everyone. My long breaks going to end soon, it's time to get back to real business soon, bringing abit of each different feeling to 2010 and back to camp.
Shall say about my Genting Trip. It's not a very long trip but a trip that i've fulfilled all my objective before going and also had really fun time with my campmates, if u get to see the pictures we took, i guess u will know how much we did enjoy in this trip, i guess the bonding will be different as well. The pictures, video and laughter will always be in our memories.
It's a new year, everybody has/have resolutions for it, i guess i don't wish to list out even if i have it hah. Today, elva mum passed away, i heard it from my friend about it, i guess elva must be in agony now, to think that she just finished her concert last night, hope she will be strong and be alright, remember what i have wrote to u, elva. Take Care.
People do change, i guess that is known by everyone, they change in many ways, from good to bad, bad to good and even bad to worse. There is this friend of mine, from my opinion, got from bad to worse, i shall not say he or she, i will call him/her "it". "it" has turned into someone so stranger to me or rather i had expected from. There are times "it" say things that are not supposed to but guess knowing whether in wrong or not, "it" will not admit it, if in wrong, "it" will insist "it" is not wrong. Cases shown "it" is living in "it" own world, i hope i can help, but i guess i'm unable to.
I do not condemn, I do not want to comment anymore, if situation got to be like this, let it be then.
Saturday, January 02, 2010 2:10 AM
Its been a week since my break started, just as expected, nothing really make me so excited till i can write a whole long paragraph of stuffs like before. I can only say whats been done only.
Movies are up, none been watched by me coz i got no company to watch the movie at all or should be i don't have anyone feel like watching the movie i fancy so never mind, i'm alright with it. Went orchard at Christmas eve to have the Christmas atmosphere there, maybe i should say "they" are crazy playing(spraying) around but i can see the christmas joy in everyone face. There are people who like this kinda of fun, there are people who are not. I don't mind to play if i have a bigger group next time and willing to play. We are young, but no longer soon, we can play now, but no longer soon, why is there still so many restriction?
Because of the principle or because of the "face". Whatever it is, it is all over, i'm in search of people who really dare to do, not something big but something that is so simple. There are always stuffs that we got angry, maybe only simple things we normally do, people got angry, then we don't do, is this out of concern or just plain jealousy? I don't know what to say, i don't how to comment coz if one have no confidence in himself/herself, everything the partner do will be under the restriction. Hence, i'm not sure whether he/she will be happy about it.
In this world, everyone is play-acting. Why do i say that? It is because everyone(in certain extent) will act to be more gentle, civilised and etc infront of others while he/she will not do it in the "dark". Maybe u may not agree with me, i don't deny u too coz it became a routine, a very normal routine for everyone in this world to do it, so u don't feel that it is of any big deal anymore.
People get weird feeling for different kinds of reason, me, myself got a weird feeling now as in I had a lot of questions for alot of different people. I want to know the answers for all this questions but i never get their answers at all. If you are kind enough, bad answers is still an answers, can you give it to me. I don't need to have an answers that only i'm satisfied, i need a truthful answers. But i didn't get it at all.
And for the first time here, i write: "I hate people who don't reply my messages." This is very rude- that all i can say to u.
I can see who doesn't want to and who want to, maybe outsiders do see alot. The attitude do not changed after so long, it show one did not grow up at all after one has went through so much, thats kind of disappointing. I don't believe people saying "that's just me", i guess after something happen, more or less, one will change, but i've seen so many with a "NO". Disppointing for u.
Sunday, December 27, 2009 12:38 PM
The much-awaited long break is here for me now, i've got about 2 weeks to spend outside the camp, which is about a year plus since i have this kinda of life. At first, i was kinda excited and planned lots of different things to do but in fact, the long break is not the kind that i've expected.
Maybe its been too long since i have this kinda of life, everything outside changed, no longer the kind that everyone is free after a morning lesson or simply not working at all during holidays. Suddenly, i realised that we are all ADULTS now.
We can no longer go back to the carefree life we had, laughter that is never-ending, stress-free from the money problems. We no longer depend on our parents, thus, it time for them to depend on us.
I guess by the time I'm out of the army life, greater reponsibilities will be lay on me, which mean the kind of life before i'm enlisted will be forever gone and not be back except the memories. I remember when i graduate last year, i did wrote about the times i had in poly, that is also the time that make me realise alot of stuffs and make alot of friends. I came from boys school, 11 years of boys school mean i didn't get to have lots of opposite sex friends, it is the time when i entered poly life that changed my life. Usual shy form infront of them, as i don't have the courage to talk to them, I don't deny I have never regretted to be in poly, not because of the opposite sex but because of their different angles of view that teaches me too much things. I guess they do make a big difference in my entire life with different kind of memories still stuck with me.
I guess the place that really make me into more independent should be the National Service. Life in army do have its ups and downs, i guess that is known to lots of guys, else there will not be so many elders saying NS is a training for boy to become a man. I've seen so many different people in different camps that i'm in, from so helpful guy with totally no anger at all to very selfish guy with very bad temper. I guess they all do a bit part in my life to become more independent, so they should all be thank upon.
I don't know i've changed into a guy who is more better or worse than before i'm enlisted, i only know that this path have really gave me a huge impact in my life even before i ORD. I've just read one of my campmates blog before i wrote this, he said the person he is before he enlist is the real person he should be in future. For me, i guess i need to be different from him coz the army do shape me into a guy who is not allow to be so simple to certain stuffs and people, i do not wish to be the kind of immature guy anymore.
Thanks my Friends....
Sunday, December 20, 2009 11:06 PM
Hope for the Best..
Yes, this is the post that is long-awaited. Nothing change, nothing really need to change at all except the fact the i can finally write something back here after so many of them is gone. Ya, what i mean is those who read my blog in the past, I think i can start everything here again.
Many things happened for the past few months, happy and of course unhappy moments that we need to cope in our life. Everything comes and teach us a lesson to be even more smarter the next time round when we met with the same problems again, isn't it?
Whatever said, and done, it is still up to the certain someone to do the thinking. So what kind of person do i have changed into from the previous post?
Not really much but then the person facing the computer now is someone who do actually know what he really wants, so no matter whether it is a success or failure in things he do, he no longer got to feel unhappy or happy about, coz whether it is or not, the earth is still turning, at the times you are happy, there are still many who are feeling unhappy at that moment, so it is vice versa to the unhappy part. Learn to be more gracious but more straightforward towards certain stuffs.
Speak the ugly truth is always better than a naked lie. It is not hurting anymore for me but just a disappointment in general for everyone who is concern. Never ask stuffs that people don't wish to say, when its time, the stuffs will be said out.
Saturday, December 05, 2009 1:19 PM
Endless of Endless...
The feeling of booking out today was not really good. Didn't really felt the excitement, and after a night of thought. This may be my last post for this blog. This blog has been with me through ups and downs since 2005, but guess because of a few things that make me come to this decision.
Army life make me felt that there isn't anything really much to write also, my friends slowly left their blog citing different kind of reasons and a few stuffs that i think there is no longer any point to continue here. The making of complains, venting of frustration, sharing of entertainment and etc here no longer make me felt the same way i used to have in the past.
Continue to say, continue to ask or continue to guess only make me felt even more tired of the life here and outside, i do really has no more energy for this kind of stuffs anymore.
What i can say is only to those who are still reading here now, thanks for the support for the past 4years or less, you all are the motivation that i want to continue till now but i only can say that "i've enough".
I hope that one day i will be back here writing again with my new motivation, new thoughts and etc.
THANK YOU =) =(
Friday, September 25, 2009 10:14 PM
Series of Events
Been very busy with alot of things lately and illness coming to me recently, it made me had no time to update this blog, now finally, i can say something here. Alot of birthday celebration going on this few weekends and those coming up, also make me missed quite afew because of one another birthday celebrations but hope everyone enjoyed themselves whether or not i'm able to attend(like anyone will care, lol..)...
Happy Birthday!! All my September babies....
Last weekend was tedious for me, having to shift from one chalet to another, but at least i know i didn't make a wrong choice doing that. I can only say that the chalet in Sentosa aren't that great afterall, i will never ever go there again or introduce to anyone who wish to have a chalet. Staff attitude was bad too, not helpful is one thing, not willing to help when we(customer) need you is cannot be forgiven, I can only say that the chalet there is a total disappointment.
I was unable to enjoy the celebration on saturday as i was sick, that make it another disappointment for me, the compromise of alot stuffs make it not as perfect as i was thinking 2months ago, I shall not pin the blame on anyone except on the chalet management.
Anyway, after all these, i got to control. The aggressive side of me cannot be used on someone who don't even deserve to, you can continue to say, u can go on.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009 2:16 PM
What Generation Already!!
Its been quite a lousy week for me, as for the details, i will not say much here, just don't understand why that people are so hypocrite, smile and smile in front of you but then stab you like nobody business, and its so obvious but still there are people who don't believe the fact and defended him. Looks can be deceiving, beware. And to you, do you really think that you are very smart, if you are, no one would have known what you are trying to do, i'm alright that i don't have any conversation with you as long you do what you need to do and i done i am needed.
SCAM OFF MAN!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, ya. We are already in what generation already, there are still people thinking that this is guys ought to do and not girls, and that girls ought to do and not guys. WOW!!! That is really old for you if you really thought about this,anyway, for those who reading this, you ask yourself whether you have ever in your life now thought about this, don't be stupid!!!
You are allow to be lazy at times but not stupid always...... IDIOT....
Wow, you may say or didn't or whatever!!!(for those reading). It about opening up your mind to accept what is supposed to be there, don't alway follow the traditional ways.
DICKSON, HAPPY BIRTHDAY....
Saturday, September 05, 2009 12:42 AM
I heard them cried. I saw them cried.
A sms from my brother last thursday morning shocked me, my grandmother passed away. This few days have been busying with the funeral, the first day, sometimes on other days and the last day(today), i saw and heard them cried for their mother, my grandmother.
I saw my dad cried today, it a scene that i have never really saw in my life, i guess no matter what had actually happened, she is still her mother, he cried, he is sad. The whole funeral, i'm the only one who didn't cried throughout, i could felt their sadness, i could felt their agony but still, i didn't drop a tear.
As to why, over the last few days of thinking, and to respect to my grandmother, i shall not comment anymore further this time. Maybe it is time for me to really reflect whether i am too agressive towards them.
Anyway, just hope my grandmother will take good care of herself in another world.
Monday, August 24, 2009 3:51 PM
Had csp cohesion yesterday, it was really fun in the pool. But this is the first and also the last for me in the conhesion with them. It just too bad that we didn't take any photos at all for the whole of yesterday, but nvm, i guess everyone had fun.
Only thing that spoil the mood is the service provided by the cafe cartel in IMM, it sucks totally. I don't wanna to comment here anymore and i guess many do not agree with me yesterday.
Was thinking of other things, was thinking of "What do i really want to do?"
nvm, to be continued...(i forgot what I want to say)
Saturday, August 15, 2009 4:37 PM
Been feeling unsettled since about 3-4pm today, also don't know what has happened, just felt that there is something not done, something coming to me soon and there is something going to disrupt my mindset now....Having this kind of feeling really sucks, hope after i sleep, everything will be gone....
Anyway, get to know something which is on my mind for the past few days. This isn't something really new but stuffs that i felt i have finally get to it and is getting used to that. I believe my life will be much better after i get used to it.
In camp has always been the same for me for the past few months, just that there are stuffs that i see in others eyes is different from what i have expected but i have learned to get used to what they gave, i believe once i get used to it, all of them will be nothing to me anymore. To be able to continue to survive in this world, i guess i have to be like this, thanks for your advice man.
Yup, last week found out something that was so unexpected, i knew he had said something but didn't expect him to say it so early whereas i gave him so much trust, what i can say to u is that....
As a friend of me, YOU FAILED.... As a BEST friend of me, YOU SERIOUSLY FAILED.... As a living person in the world, YOU FAILED TOTALLY....
So, my conclusion for you, you don't deserve anybody trust AT ALL....and yes, i'm condemning you. Don't act in front of me and others in front of me anyway, coz you really DISGUST me....
YOU GOT NO INTEGRITY AT ALL!!!
Friday, August 07, 2009 10:49 PM
Genting + Fever
Actually was thinking of putting up the post much earlier, but i think there is some problem with the post so never post anything for the past week....yes, celebrated my birthday with my family in Genting and of course second Birthday cake before going down and the free ice cream from swensen(did i mentioned it before??ahh, whatever!!).
I think that because of the maintence of cable car, it made me feel that Genting has become nothing really fun to play with. Nothing really excite me up there, the feeling is no longer the same as in the past which will make me felt like going back there again. Didn't touch the outdoor and indoor theme park but i think i can say i really enjoyed the company of my whole family there.....ok, show some of the pictures taken there(not all of course!!).
First few stuffs bought on trip there.
(Thanks mummy for holding.)
First stuff bought in Genting. (Thanks mummy again.)
Hi to Genting.
KFC. (Singapore don't have the bun anymore.)
Burger are so "BIG".
Shuttle van down to Mushroom
Garden to eat.
The mist there. (view with bare eyes is better.)
Big tea pot.
Marry, Marry, Marrybrown.
Last meal there.
Oh ya, i'm back in Singapore on the sunday night, what got me not really happy about when i reached is that "no cab willing to stop".....we waited for about 30mins to an hour, all cabs doesn't want to stop even if they have no passenger on it....and in the end, took the train back home. It ok, we save the money, but don't ever let me hear another person defend the cab driver saying they are poor souls that earn so little, i believe they can shut up.
anyway, monday was an off day for me, but i got an high fever(39.1 degree), went to see a doctor, can't believe that i have to wait for about 4hours before i can consult the doctor. But nvm, cause he gave me 4 days mc automatically so i have nothing to say and friday is my so-called unit birthday, went to chervon and celebrate, so that mean i didn't return to camp for the whole week, it feel so good...lol....
yesterday and today, the urge to "catch" bear from the machine comes again, this time is not the sweet land but the small small toys, look below(wasted money again!!!):
Got from IMM(Yesterday)
Got from Marina Square(Today)
So that all for this post, going back to camp in another less than 24hours time, take care everyone...=)
Sunday, July 26, 2009 1:00 AM
Happy Birthday To Me.
Yes, i'm at home that why i got access to Internet in the morning....just feel so good to be out of camp....i bet everyone also felt that too....cause not really many people like the idea of NS....anyway, going overseas tonight that why got a leave for today and left camp yesterday night....
Today is my birthday, ya, i want the free ice cream from swensens...for that, i will make sure i will go and collect it later...lol...anyway, still many thanks for everybody who forgot me even we didn't contact for so long....really appreciate it...=)
in fact, was freaking pissed off yesterday but i told myself that it not gonna be a problem anymore....